


After the storm

by nflove



Series: Ramifications [2]
Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Developing Relationship, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 03:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18490600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nflove/pseuds/nflove
Summary: Goff and McVay after Superbowl 53.  I guess I'm doing a whole series of these guys.





	After the storm

A ray of light fell from the crack between the curtains onto Jared’s face. He slowly opened his eyes, heart catching in his throat when the sight of a sleeping Sean McVay sent the previous night’s events flooding back into his head. He smiled slightly. Sean looked so peaceful. His hair was messily matted down and his face was drained of all the tension and concentration it usually wore. He looked unbelievably young.

 

As Jared lay silently, his heart beating faster with each flutter of Sean’s eyelashes, he began to worry that he was too invested. Why did his sleeping coach make him feel this nervous, this alive, this removed from the world? What if Sean woke up regretting last night? Even if he didn’t, he probably saw it as a favor between friends. The night of the loss, he needed to talk, and sure, he didn’t want his players to see him like this, but Jared - well Jared could; either way, the kiss was probably just a product of alcohol.

 

The doubts, fears, questions were bouncing around inside Jared’s head. He didn’t want to see Sean’s face when he woke up and processed that Jared was beside him. To Jared, that sober reaction was a brutal form of judgment day - the fear of rejection was unbearable. What would Sean even say? Would he feel shocked, disgusted,…normal?

 

Jared got up and headed to the bathroom to give Sean some space. The last thing he would want was for Sean to feel some sort of obligation… Jared took a shower and got dressed quietly. When he walked back into the room, he was met by a fully dressed Sean sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

“Hey” Jared said hesitantly

“Hey Jared.”

Silence. The previous night suddenly felt like a different universe. The things they said then, the way they were with each other – that was not an option now. And yet, Jared wanted so badly to share even a few brief seconds of eye contact with those beautiful blue eyes that were now glued to the floor.

“We good?” Jared asked.

“Yeah, we should probably head out. Flight leaves in a few hours.”

“Oh. I’m ready whenever you are.”

Sean grabbed his stuff and led the way to the door, holding it open behind him for Jared. Aaron Donald was coming down the hall. Sean quickly clapped Jared on the shoulder. “Thanks man,” he said before heading off to regroup with the coaching staff.

 

On the team bus to the airport, fifty-three football players sat silently, all with empty hearts, one blonde quarterback eating himself apart for how naïve he had been. The pain of last night’s loss began returning to Jared. The euphoria of Sean kissing him and seeming to love him had served as a damper on that pain, but now with Sean ignoring everything, it had become a multiplier. Sean clearly didn’t want to talk about any of this, and Jared respected that, but still the curt remarks of this morning hurt him more than he ever thought they could.

 

As the team filed onto the plane, Jared looked at the ground, passing Sean who was already sitting in his own row by the window. As Jared proceeded down the aisle, he could feel someone watching him. He glanced back and his gaze met a pair of watery blue eyes, peeping over the seat a few rows back. Damn, it was like those eyes could see every emotion inside of him. Jared raised his eyebrows quizzically, and Sean nodded ever so slightly. Jared slowly turned around, walked back up the aisle, and settled into the seat next to Sean.

 

“You promised me.” Sean said quietly.

“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d want…”

Sean laced his fingers into Jared’s beneath the armrest.

“Well I do.” Jared cracked a smile. “Listen, I’m sorry about before.” Sean’s voice was barely above a whisper. “When I woke up, I just felt like too many things had happened for one day, you know. And I didn’t know if you just let me come in because I was a mess last night. I just thought it’d be easier to act like nothing happened. I thought about saying something when we were leaving the room, but then Aaron was coming. I was thinking on the bus, because I didn’t know if you even wanted me to say something. I looked back at you at some point, and I just felt so damn mean, you know. Just looking, I could tell this wasn’t nothing to you. I was just thinking ‘that’s my guy’ and I didn’t want you looking like that.

“It’s okay.” Jared squeezed Sean’s hand. “This is a lot more than nothing to me.”


End file.
